Today has been a much better day so far… and I have a lot to say

My car was out of gas yesterday, which is a surprise since it wasn't at "e" yet. I usually never let it go that far. I was lucky not to have run down on the side of the road the previous day.

I got to the Doctors finally, this was my first internal exam. OUCH She wasn't very gentle and she poked my baby in the head!

Everything is good though, my blood pressure is normal, urine normal, Quinn's heart beat normal. She said his head is down and I am not yet effacing and that from the looks of it I will deliver right around my due date. I'm not sure which due date she means since I really didn't feel like explaining to her, one of the six doctors, why I had two dates. I figure either one is fine as long as he is healthy. She also said my stomach is measuring right where it should be.

They have set up another ultra sound to measure the baby's weight again this week. I am very excited about that, normally I'd be nervous but I figure if he's big there's nothing to be done about it now. He's coming big or small! I'm also not to worried because when I called in the last two weeks of my blood sugar measures to the Diabetes doctor she said I was doing really well and that I could skip a measure everyday if I wanted.

Last but not least, I lost a pound! So I figure I'm doing OK all though I have found ways to cheat the blood sugar measures. But I'm not cheating too much.

I have been gaining one pound a week steady for the last two months, but this time I lost a pound. My mom figures it was all the walking we did at the mall. I'd rather gain a pound, that was harsh!

So I have decided I am going to stop beating myself up about scale numbers. I'm pregnant for god's sake! When I got pregnant I was up to a whopping 170 pounds! I had just recently gained 30 pounds due to steady unemployment and some depression over a miscarriage that November. So I forgive myself, now I am 204. Yes I broke the 200 mark, which I really didn't want to do! But all in all I only gained 34 pounds with the pregnancy, which is not too shabby! They say most of the weight, maybe about 25 pounds, is a mixture of amniotic fluid, the baby, 30% more blood flow and a certain amount of water retention. So I figure after the baby is born I will lose about 25 pounds within the first few weeks. Then it's a matter of losing the weight I had gained before the pregnancy and getting back to my ideal weight of 140 to 135. I know I can do it and I will! They say it takes a year but I'll get it done quicker.

Tony and I are on our way to a dinner date! He noticed how sad I was yesterday and decided it was time to go out. He's been working so much over time that it's all I can do to keep busy and sane in the house. Yesterday I was so bored that I washed our one dollar plastic shower curtian! But I also got the call from Babies r us that the last piece of furniture is in so now I get to have a nice dinner and pick up the dresser. I can't wait to see it in the nursery!

On a sad note my sister called and told me that my Aunt Sandy died… the funeral is tomorrow but I have decided not to go. Mostly because I can't travel that far from home right now but also because our family is divided and I feel it is more important for others to be there then I. I know in my heart that Aunt Sandy knows I love her and I pray for her. It was her that kept our family together, with all her backyard BBQ's and swimming parties, and jokes around the kitchen table. She was ALWAYS kind to us, to all of us. She did her best to keep us all together and happy, and I'll never forget her for that, well that and her macaroni salad, ummm.

I love you aunt sandy, I know well see you again one day.